Wednesday, November 28, 2012

No Diggity, I'd Like to Bag It Up

I live my life in constant fear that people won't judge me.  What would a person do if they couldn't comment on something I was doing wrong while out and about with my three kids?  Live a very dull life, obviously.

Some of the best parenting advice I've received has been from random strangers on the street.  Things like,

"Cover her head!"

"You need to put socks on them!"

"He [pointing at Andrew] really needs to stop sucking those fingers."

"If my son ran out in the street, I'd spank his bum."

"Why do you let your daughter talk to you like that?"

And other priceless gems.  Which is why I've decided to write a parenting book.  I think I'll call it, Street Parenting: How Advice from Random Strangers Saved My Children.  I'll even write it like it's a rap song.  Here's a snippet:

Now here's a book all about how
Strangers can advise your parenting now
I'd like to take a minute so sit right
And I'll tell you all about how to become
the parent of the year

Do you think if I pitched it right I could get Snoop Dogg in on this?


  1. OMG! I want to buy this book with accompanying soundtrack. Can you have it ready by christmas? :) These are gems, indeed.

  2. I absolutely love your title and premise. I'd buy your book for sure. Be sure to give us progress updates!

  3. When we lived in Germany, they would TAKE your baby if they weren't wrapped up right and re-wrap them for you. That was very, very strange... and they would always tell you to put a hat on your baby. All babies should wear hats according to them.
    I know most people mean well, I try not to give advice anymore. Just to tell them how lovely their children are, or distract the little monster in the store so his mommy can get control again. I love seeing other people with little ones, and super glad it's not me anymore. But they sure are darling.
    And a rap song totally does it for me!!! Please. It kind of goes with the book Go the F@!k to sleep..... Which I still have not read, but want to!
    Our lullaby when our kids were little was, No fussing, no whining, no crying, GO TO SLEEP!

  4. Snoop would totally make that deal.