God, Goddess, AND the Universe really want to teach me a few lessons in this life. Either that or I need to stop asking for traits like compassion, empathy, and understanding of other people's life situations.
One time when I was feeling pretty smug about my successful life besides issues with anxiety and depression, I was telling other mental illness sufferers (in my head) to suck it up. I felt pretty puffed up in my sympathizing-with-others ability, too, and let the Universe know it.
The Universe was like, "Girl, you really need some humbling."
I started having major panic attacks and depression, finally feeling the empathy I should have felt earlier.
When I was a young girl, I greatly feared having infertility issues. After getting married and having two kids in quick succession (14 months), I was all high and mighty. I got to know a few women who struggled with infertility so I tried really hard to understand what they were going through. That year I said a prayer to understand these women's trials and try to be more compassionate.
God was like, "Sure! You're a hands-on learner, so I'll just...."
And then I had 4 miscarriages in 2 years. Yeah I learned compassion real fast.
Later on, I was wondering what it felt like to live in poverty. I wondered if people who were underprivileged were self-inflicting their poverty or what. So I asked Goddess about it.
Goddess asked, "How serious are you about learning?" And I was like, "Serious, serious."
Punch. (This is all figurative, you know.)
My little family and I moved to the worst apartments we've ever lived in, surrounded by real poverty. That year was the hardest year (in regards to living circumstances) I've ever had.
Finally, after hearing of a few friends whose children suffer from chronic illnesses, I asked the Universe to help me learn compassion and feel empathy towards those families.
The Universe said, "I can do that."
With the on-set of Andrew's seizures, and his subsequent diagnosis of primary epilepsy disorder, I had my fill of hospitals, IV's, neurologists, tests, etc.
Okay Universe. Okay God. Okay Goddess. I think I've learned my lesson. I'll be careful when I develop next year's New Year's resolutions.
But....on second thought. I kind of like who I am now because of all these experiences. So. Thank you?