Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Be Careful What You Wish For

God, Goddess, AND the Universe really want to teach me a few lessons in this life.  Either that or I need to stop asking for traits like compassion, empathy, and understanding of other people's life situations.

One time when I was feeling pretty smug about my successful life besides issues with anxiety and depression, I was telling other mental illness sufferers (in my head) to suck it up.  I felt pretty puffed up in my sympathizing-with-others ability, too, and let the Universe know it.

The Universe was like, "Girl, you really need some humbling."


I started having major panic attacks and depression, finally feeling the empathy I should have felt earlier.

When I was a young girl, I greatly feared having infertility issues.  After getting married and having two kids in quick succession (14 months), I was all high and mighty.  I got to know a few women who struggled with infertility so I tried really hard to understand what they were going through.  That year I said a prayer to understand these women's trials and try to be more compassionate.

God was like, "Sure! You're a hands-on learner, so I'll just...."


And then I had 4 miscarriages in 2 years.  Yeah I learned compassion real fast.

Later on, I was wondering what it felt like to live in poverty.  I wondered if people who were underprivileged were self-inflicting their poverty or what.  So I asked Goddess about it.

Goddess asked, "How serious are you about learning?" And I was like, "Serious, serious."

Punch. (This is all figurative, you know.)

My little family and I moved to the worst apartments we've ever lived in, surrounded by real poverty.  That year was the hardest year (in regards to living circumstances) I've ever had.

Finally, after hearing of a few friends whose children suffer from chronic illnesses, I asked the Universe to help me learn compassion and feel empathy towards those families.

The Universe said, "I can do that."


With the on-set of Andrew's seizures, and his subsequent diagnosis of primary epilepsy disorder, I had my fill of hospitals, IV's, neurologists, tests, etc.

Okay Universe. Okay God.  Okay Goddess. I think I've learned my lesson. I'll be careful when I develop next year's New Year's resolutions.  

But....on second thought.  I kind of like who I am now because of all these experiences.  So. Thank you?


  1. You are ever looking for the silver lining. It's a reminder I needed today :)

  2. Leave it to you to find the lesson - and the humor - in the most trying circumstances. I have a lot to learn from you and your perspective. xo

  3. I know those feels, darlin'. And isn't it the truth that without experiences like that we just wouldn't be the people we are today. You inspire me!

  4. Was just saying that it's having lived through things that we begin to understand how precious it all is.


  5. It is wonderful to have knowledge and understanding of other's suffering, but I hate getting the humble hand smack down. You're a lucky girl, though. I think it is the ones who can find humor in life who are able to deal the best.

  6. Maybe you should ask how to deal with a few extra million dollars in the bank next time.

  7. What an amazing, honest and insightful post. You touched my soul. My thoughts and my heart are with you and with little Andrew.

  8. You rock. May your compassionate heart bring you all the rewards you so richly deserve.